I have been going through a very difficult time emotionally. Thank God for the Body and facebook and the loads of encouragement I have received since posting on facebook! I was seeing and feeling a lot of suffering in India. It’s a very challenging place. My emotions with self from suffering from exhaustion, fatigue, and mosquitoes were very hard. Adding to that, suffering the heart aches of having no control to really help anyone long term was debilitating.
Caleb and I were waiting at the bus stop to catch a bus to the next location when a young girl, roughly around the age of 6, came up to me with her hand open. She placed her hand to her mouth, making the universal sign for eating. I saw her and was immediately compelled to go and get her food. When I went to the restaurant to buy her food, she called her younger brother who had a huge gash on his forehead and could be no older than 4. So I bought food for the both of them. The young boy kept begging for the soap he could see hanging on the outer pouch of my bag. I had no idea what he wanted at first, but when I realized it, I gave him the soap as well and they ran off.
As we loaded on the bus to leave, I felt an overwhelming sorrow in my heart. I was moved to tears and tried to get off the bus, telling Caleb we needed to take the children with us. We could take them to hotels and provide a better life for them. Caleb looked at me like I had lost my mind. I told him, “Far be it from me to claim to know Christ and only give food to these orphans.” He calmed me down in the moment of emotions. I started telling him that we needed to have orphanages, hospitals, churches, etc… so that when we have these opportunities, we can truly help them for longer than the time of one meal. I was so distraught and upset inside. I asked him, if we saw them again, if we could spend the day with them to encourage and feed and find an orphanage for them. He agreed with a warm and loving smile on his face. We were like hawks searching for them, hoping to see them before the bus left with no luck.
The problems and emotions I was feeling were overwhelming when I posted of facebook for help and prayers. I felt useless, depressed, and discouraged. I just needed love, and you all came through in a powerful way. I thank you for the love of Christ, and please just continue to pray for effectiveness while we are on this trip.